{"id":273,"date":"2005-08-01T14:54:46","date_gmt":"2005-08-01T14:54:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.star-k.org\/articles\/?p=273"},"modified":"2024-10-01T08:06:47","modified_gmt":"2024-10-01T08:06:47","slug":"star-ks-successful-program-lights-up-the-shidduch-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.star-k.org\/articles\/news\/273\/star-ks-successful-program-lights-up-the-shidduch-world\/","title":{"rendered":"STAR-K’S SUCCESSFUL PROGRAM LIGHTS UP THE SHIDDUCH WORLD"},"content":{"rendered":"

Please Note<\/strong> : Effective March 2011 this program has been discontinued.<\/span><\/h4>\n

Long before the news of the first official \u201cStar-K engagement\u201d circulated, Baltimore\u2019s Star-K headquarters tasted success. The actual distribution of the $2,500 cash \u201cgift\u201d incentive, on top of the customary shadchanus<\/i> for the successful matches made for Baltimore\u2019s Orthodox women, was not the sole measure of accomplishment.
\nStar-K\u2019s novel attempt at remedying the universal singles problem locally was made with the twin hope of inspiring the launching of similar programs by organizations and individuals in other \u201cout-of-town\u201d communities. As soon as the news hit the press, Star-K was flooded with telephone calls, letters and e-mails from around the world.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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\u201cDo you have someone for my son\/daughter who lives here in Switzerland (Australia, England, etc.)?\u201d \u201cWho in Baltimore knows the single women of your community so we can makeshidduchim<\/i>\u00a0for them?\u201d<\/span><\/span>After we established the fact that Star-K\u2019s primary function is that of a\u00a0kashrus<\/i>\u00a0agency, rather than a\u00a0shidduch<\/i>\u00a0agency, we provided those who contacted us with a list of Baltimoreshadchanim<\/i>. We had lit a fire in the matchmaking world! It suddenly seemed as though the whole world was making\u00a0shidduchim<\/i>\u00a0– professional and lay person alike.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We definitely were getting attention! News got back to us that a\u00a0Rav<\/i>\u00a0of a\u00a0shul<\/i>\u00a0in Far Rockaway, during his\u00a0Shabbos drasha<\/i>, spoke about our offer, and how it should inspire his congregants to make\u00a0shidduchim<\/i>. The next thing we knew, at least two other communities were emulating us, jumping on the bandwagon to help their local women. Shortly after, something ironic happened.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The\u00a0Gemara<\/i>\u00a0says, whoever\u00a0davens<\/i>\u00a0for a fellow\u00a0yid<\/i>\u00a0concerning something which he needs himself will be answered first. Just one month after the incentive was offered in Baltimore, two young women who were employed by the Star-K became engaged. Just eleven days later, the daughter of a Star-K employee became engaged. Although none of the\u00a0shadchanim<\/i>\u00a0of these three young women qualified for the $2,500 cash gift, since the\u00a0kallahs<\/i>\u00a0were all under the qualifying age of 22 years and 2 months, they were amongst the first to be answered, as everyone in the office\u00a0davened<\/i>\u00a0for the program\u2019s success.
\n<\/span>Within hours of our third \u201cinternal\u201d Star-K\u00a0shidduch<\/i>, the qualifying Star-K\u00a0shidduchim<\/i>\u00a0started to roll in – ten of them, within seven months of the initiation of the program.<\/span><\/p>\n

How did some of these\u00a0shadchanim<\/i>\u00a0think of their ideas? In one case, it was a matter of setting up a former classmate with a brother\u2019s friend. In another, a local woman matched up her friend\u2019s daughter with her son\u2019s best friend. And in yet another case, the\u00a0shadchan<\/i>\u00a0paired her friend\u2019s daughter with her son\u2019s\u00a0chavrusa<\/i>–a young man she had never personally met until the engagement party!<\/span><\/p>\n

Equally as amazing, was the\u00a0shidduch<\/i>\u00a0inspired by a long distance telephone conversation between cousins in Silver Spring, Maryland and\u00a0Yerushalayim<\/i>. It was not a coincidence that the call was placed from the States at the exact time her cousin\u2019s single British guest was visiting from London. After speaking with him, the\u00a0shadchan<\/i>\u00a0immediately thought of the idea and suggested it to the 40-year-old single woman she had in mind for him who lived half way around the world, in Baltimore.<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps these Star-K\u00a0shidduchim<\/i>\u00a0would have been made in any case, despite the Star-K incentive. Who knows? One thing is for sure.\u00a0Klal Yisroel<\/i>\u00a0can only stand to gain when we have the welfare of our fellow\u00a0yidden<\/i>\u00a0in mind, by putting forth the effort to help our singles – wherever they live – build a\u00a0bayis ne\u2019eman b\u2019Yisroel<\/i>!
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Striking Matches: Star-K Partnering with Shadchanim<\/b><\/span>
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The newest member of the Star-K \u201cfamily\u201d will not bear the familiar Star-K logo – not on a label, not on a plumba. In fact, this reflects the uniqueness of our non-profit lay organization, and, perhaps, explains our essence. Yes, milk and meat matters are only a part of Star-K\u2019s commitment in serving the kosher consumer the world over. However, research and education of all \u201cnon-edible\u201d\u00a0mitzvos<\/i>, from\u00a0shatnes<\/i>\u00a0to Sabbath mode appliances, is a priority at Star-K, as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

The\u00a0mitzvah<\/i>\u00a0of marriage, sparking a \u201ckosher match\u201d, and providing an incentive forshadchanim<\/i>, is the newest focus of Star-K. Attempting to do its part to alleviate the universal singles \u201ccrisis\u201d the American Orthodox community is experiencing, Star-K is offering a $2,500 cash \u201cgift\u201d for the successful\u00a0shidduchim<\/i>\u00a0of women in Baltimore\u2019s Orthodox community – Star-K\u2019s hometown. This is an additional incentive, on top of the customary\u00a0shadchanus<\/i>\u00a0from the parents of the\u00a0choson<\/i>\u00a0and\u00a0kallah<\/i>. According to Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, Rabbinic Administrator of the Star-K, \u201cThe concept of offering monetary incentives to promoteshidduchim<\/i>\u00a0is sanctioned by\u00a0Chazal<\/i>\u201d (See\u00a0Rosh<\/i>,\u00a0Kedushin<\/i>\u00a030b, paragraph 43).<\/p>\n

The Problem<\/b><\/p>\n

If you are a single woman, or the parents of daughters, chances are you, better than anyone, understand the problem. The eligible bachelor seems to have a long list of potential marriage partners. The eligible young lady sits patiently by the telephone, hoping that it will ring with a suggestion of a possible suitor. As the telltale saying goes in\u00a0shadchanus<\/i>: \u201cA boy needs a secretary, a girl needs an agent.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are various theories as to why this problem exists. Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that the singles population is getting larger and older. Thousands of single Jewish women, of all ages, who are\u00a0shomrei Torah<\/i>\u00a0and\u00a0mitzvos<\/i>, are finding it difficult to find a suitable match. There are many single observant Jewish women in Baltimore, whose numbers are on the increase. A significant number of divorcees and widows, contribute to these statistics, as well.<\/p>\n

National organizations, such as the Agudath Israel of America and the National Council of Young Israel, have long recognized the worsening problem, which is contributing to the emotional pain of our singles. Agudath Israel of America, together with N\u2019Shei Agudath Israel, addressed this issue at the annual National Agudah Convention, in establishing the New York based\u00a0shidduch<\/i>\u00a0agency,\u00a0Invei Hagefen<\/i>. Similarly, since 2001, the National Council of Young Israel initiated an annual\u00a0Shidduchim<\/i>\u00a0conference for singles, marrieds, parents, and, matchmakers to help tackle the challenge. Other Orthodox organizations have recognized the crisis and are doing their part by introducing programs that facilitate the matchmaking process.<\/p>\n

Star-K\u2019s Contribution<\/b><\/p>\n

Please Note<\/strong> : Effective March 2011 this program has been discontinued<\/p>\n

The Star-K is attempting to help remedy the Baltimore singles situation, which is typical of that in Orthodox communities throughout the United States. It is offering the $2,500 cash incentive (for a period of one year), to anyone who successfully arranges a\u00a0shidduch<\/i>\u00a0for a woman in Baltimore\u2019s Orthodox community. Please note: Effective January 1, 2010, the STAR-K award will only be paid to shadchanim who have received a minimum shadchanus fee of $1500 paid by the choson and kallah or their families. Star-K hopes that\u00a0b\u2019ezras Hashem<\/i>, its gift will act as a dual incentive: for professional\u00a0shadchanim<\/i>, worldwide, to put Baltimore women on the top of their singles lists, and for \u201cwould-be\u00a0shadchanim<\/i>\u201d and acquaintances to keep Baltimore women in mind.
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According to Dr. Avrom Pollak, President of Star-K, \u201cWhat we are hoping to accomplish is to get anyone–living in any community–who knows a Baltimore single woman, to make that extra effort in arranging an introduction with a suitable eligible man.\u201d
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For the\u00a0shadchan<\/i>\u00a0of a successful\u00a0shidduch<\/i>\u00a0to qualify for this gift, the following conditions apply:
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